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What to Expect in Session

What to talk about in couples therapy?  How to prepare?  What not to say?  I can’t imagine how nerve-wrecking going into session can be.  It’s hard enough to talk about our feelings to a therapist in private, it makes sense it would feel harder with our partner with us.  


An Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist will make this experience easy for you.  We are not here to judge arguments. We are here to help you express yourself to your partner so that they can hear you.  And you both need to be heard so that you can both support one another.    


How to prepare?  You can’t.  If you knew what you were really trying to say, you would’ve said it by now.  An Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist is going to help you discover a new way of expressing yourself to your partner by helping you discover new aspects of what you’re going through first.  We might feel we have our partner’s figured out, but we can rarely figure ourselves out.     


Here is one hot tip: if you’re googling for quick solutions to solve your entire relationship, you’ll likely get a quick answer. Unfortunately, there is no one “tip” that can save your marriage or relationship.  You deserve real answers and real solutions.


The real solution is the dreaded “couples therapist”.  Luckily, individual therapy has become normalized and we don’t think of ourselves as “bad” for participating.  Unfortunately, the same old stigma still lingers for couples; couples therapy doesn’t mean you or your partner are “bad”, it only means you and your partner need help moving forward more productively.


Here is the advice:  let your partner know you need to do therapy together the same way you would do therapy individually if you needed extra help.  Work with a trained Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist.   You can make this happen and your relationship can feel better.

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Do therapists give relationship advice?  Hopefully, the answer is no.  Online couples therapy with a trained couples therapist is an opportunity for you and your partner to engage with each other in a productive and meaningful way.  


Therapists that give advice to couples are sex therapists that will explain techniques and exercises based on their training.  Individual therapy is about talking with your therapist, and couples therapy is about talking with your partner.   


Once you get into the flow of sessions with your online couples therapist, you’ll learn to expect feeling surprised by what comes out of the session.  Not knowing what your partner will express can feel scary, but an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist is there to support you in the experience.