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Couple's Portrait
Couple Online Couples Therapy

What to Expect in Session

What to talk about in couples therapy?  How to prepare?  What not to say?  I can’t imagine how nerve-wrecking going into session can be.  It’s hard enough to talk about our feelings to a therapist in private, it makes sense it would feel harder with our partner listening. 

How to prepare what to say in couples therapy?  You can’t.  If you knew how to get the support you need from your partner, you would’ve said it by now.  Just express yourself as you normally do. 

An Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist will help you discover a deeper understanding of your experience, then help you express yourself to your partner more productively.  We might feel we have our partner figured out, but we have to be open to figuring ourselves out. 


Following through on setting up a first couples therapy session with your partner can be tough.  Everyone gets there differently.  Sometimes you both don’t know what else to do and signing up together is easier.  When only one of you feels that the relationship needs guidance it can be harder.

Many times people go to individual therapy because of their relationship.  With most of those cases, unless someone is trying to break-up, participating in the couples work together would be more beneficial. 

If you feel you need more support, let your partner know.  That’s it.  You need support in your experience and you want your partner to be there.  Getting this support now would be better than letting something turn into a crisis later. 

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Do therapists give relationship advice?  Hopefully, the answer is no.  Online couples therapy with a trained couples therapist is an opportunity for you and your partner to engage with each other in a productive and meaningful way.  


Therapists that give advice to couples are sex therapists that will explain techniques and exercises based on their training.  Individual therapy is about talking with your therapist, and couples therapy is about talking with your partner.   


Once you get into the flow of sessions with your online couples therapist, you’ll learn to expect feeling surprised by what comes out of the session.  Not knowing what your partner will express can feel scary, but an Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist is there to support you in the experience.


If you’re googling for quick solutions to solve your entire relationship, you’ll likely get a quick answer. Unfortunately, there is no one “tip” that can save your marriage or relationship.  You deserve real answers and real solutions.


The real solution is the dreaded “couples therapist”.  Luckily, individual therapy has become normalized and we don’t think of ourselves as “bad” for participating.  Unfortunately, the same old stigma still lingers for couples; couples therapy doesn’t mean you or your partner are “bad”, it only means you and your partner need help moving forward more productively.


Here is the advice:  let your partner know you need to do therapy together the same way you would do therapy individually if you needed extra help.  Work with a trained Emotionally Focused Couples Therapist.   Setting up a session is easy and your relationship can feel better.

Couple in a Kitchen Online Couples Therapy
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